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Wednesday the 10th of August 2005

3:56 PM

More jokes while it is still too hot to think

  • Mood:
  • Creativity Level: Medium
  • Weather: Still hot as Hades
 
Subject: Republicans and Democrats

Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans
and Southern Republicans?

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around
the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah,
raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal .40,
and you are an expert shot.

You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?



Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my wife think?

What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of
his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does
this send to society and to my children

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound
me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while
he was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this happier,
healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some  friends for
few days and try to come to a consensus.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Republican's Answer:

BANG!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Southern Republican's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! click.....(sounds of reloading).

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! click

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips
or Hollow Points
 
                                         ************************************************
 
 
Women vs. Men Friends
 
Friendship among Women:
 
A woman doesn't come home at night. The next day she tells her husband
she slept over at a friend's house. The man calls his wife's 10 best
friends. None of them know anything about it.
 
 
 
Friendship among Men:
 
A man doesn't come home at night. The next day he tells his wife he slept
over at a friend's house. The woman calls her husband's 10 best
friends.  8 of them say he did sleep over and 2 claim he's still there.
 
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